 There truly comes a time in a person’s life when you realize that life is indeed just touch and go. We try to look back at the things that happened in our past and reminisce the intricate web of relationships we’ve had with people. Then in the middle of daydreaming, we would stop and ask ourselves, “Where are they now?” It’s funny when you think about it, that at one point in your life you have been really close with a person you always thought you knew very well inside out. The next thing you know, you don’t even have the slightest clue on what’s going on with that person anymore… or if they even think of you still. Funny… yes… funny but sad at the same time. It’s a fact that no man is an island. People are social beings and they need to interact with others in order to survive. I am a person; therefore I am a social being… and actually a very good one at that. I used to be a social butterfly. I loved being with people. I loved making friends. And most of all, I love getting into different sorts of relationships, touching lives and being touched by them in the process. Yes, I was socially inclined… and I still am, but now just in a downgraded fashion. I suddenly found myself, turning down invitations to gimmicks , whereas I used to be always game. I guess as time passes by, it seems to get harder and harder to involve yourself with just anybody, may it be a new acquaintance, a new friend, or a new love interest. I guess experience teaches you that. But some people just never learn. Well… I learned my lesson. I started learning at a young age. While all the other kids my age don’t even care about anything else but playtime, that young I was forced to grow up immaturely… learning the painful way that not all people are to be trusted. They may seem good to you and you may think they know better, but I realized that that doesn’t really matter. Because when you know better, consequently, you know worse. And people can take advantage of the better to do the worse. With that known, I never trusted anybody but myself. So much so that when I interact with people, I always have my guard up, thinking at the back of my head that they always have a hidden agenda in mind. True enough, I guess people always have had hidden agendas when dealing with others. Maybe they just don’t realize it, or maybe they just do it subconsciously. And I admit I am like that too. But as I grew, I learned that not all these hidden agendas are bad. They can work to your benefit, and that usually happens both ways. That’s how relationships should work, right? Sadly though, they almost always never work that way. And if that’s not bad enough, they end up in a mess. Yes, the end is always inevitable. That’s also one thing I learned, and I’m pretty sure everyone knows this too. Yet we still continue to start new relationships that we know will have their finales, one way or another. It’s one of those never-ending cycles of life that we have to learn how to deal with. Like I said, people are social beings. Relationships are essential to one’s survival. So how does one deal with the end of a relationship? It’s quite simple actually. You just have to go on living your life like you’ve always had before you entered it. Anyway, you have survived all these years prior to it, right? It’s just that simple! But in reality, it’s always easier said than done. Once I was in this relationship, which I knew could never be, thinking that if I knew what’s going to happen, I’d already know what to do. So when the time for closure comes, it would be a lot easier to deal with because I am prepared. Well, it ended all right, as expected. But what I didn’t expect was what happened in between, and the sadness that comes after it. Oh, and don’t forget the memories… those d*mn beautiful memories, so overwhelming, it haunted me every second of every day… for a while that is. After some time, I guess you could say I was back to normal. But for me, everything else became different then. My friends seem to think that I always get myself into ungodly situations that most people in their right minds would actually tend to avoid. That is just so typical. But you see, I’m not your typical kind of person. But like all the others who have survived the end of a relationship, I too have moved on. Right now I am in this so-called relationship, which is yet again one of those kinds that most people would never really understand nor make sense of. But all I can say is I’ve never been happier. They say time heals all wounds. I say that’s nothing but hypocritical bull’ that we just say to ourselves to create this illusion that we’ve moved on with our lives and that we’re better off now than before. But if you think about it, when you remember old times, it brings back the pain and the sadness that you once had, especially for those people who like to cling to the past. Then comes the what-ifs and what-could’ve-beens, which makes you hope that you can bring back the past, or makes you wish that you shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place. Ah yes. Regrets. Now that’s adding salt to the wound. It is for this reason that people are afraid to enter a relationship again. For the most part, it is because it’s something that they are always afraid to lose. I should know ‘cause I was that kind of person… I was such a sentimental fool. "Time heals all wounds." I used to believe in that too. But as I continue learning, I finally believed otherwise. Time can only make you wiser… not to mention older (and I hated that fact). It’s like the scab that protects the wound as it heals. But once scratched off, the wound bleeds again, and the cut grows even deeper. If anything, I believe it is love. Yes LOVE, not time, which heals all wounds. If you believe that you have the capacity to love again (and I’m not just speaking of romantic love), that’s the only time you’ll know you’re completely healed. When you learn the value of true love, you will never be afraid to touch more lives and you can go on living amidst the scars that you’ve gotten from your past. When that happens, and you try to reminisce those intricate relationships you’ve had with people, you’d just find it all as funny… and that’s all there is to it. Life they say is touch and go. In life, we’ll always be in and out of relationships with people... people who could be there for only some time… some of them might stray… but most of them will eventually go away. But remember this: "Only those people who truly love you who will always try to find ways to stay". I guess I still am a sentimental fool after all. ='p Wednesday, August 29, 2007  we've just celebrated the national heroes day.. and when it comes to that, what first comes in our mind are the heroes like Jose Rizal, Andress Bonifacio, Apolinario Mabini and so much more. heroes who sacrificed their lives for the freedom of our country. so much for that scenario. we all have our own heroes. and some of us might not notice that our true hero is just beside us, living with us every day of our life the hero that I'll be defining in this article is a hero who always provides me with my allowances. who understands despite the stubbornness of her daughter. let me tell you about our family's one great superman! my father, a 54 years old man, grew up living without his mom and dad. they too experienced financial crisis before, but that didn't become a barrier for him to achieve his dreams. and one of those dreams, is to graduate from college. my "dada", as we used to call him, is a not-so-tall-lad. =') he got curly, short hair and despite his not-so-tall-height, he can really still protect us from strangers who would try to hurt us. he does the laundry. washes plates. polishes our school shoes. =') cooks food. water the plants. he's not like other fathers who would dare to disruptively wake us up in the morning and nag us about what we must do. my dad is a very intelligent man. his braveness is enough to be feared accompanied with respect by people. and by his family as well. he is strict,very strict father. and i understand why he acts like that. (but most of the times, i questioned why he's so strict, LOL!!) he's a father who wants to protect his family from cruelty. i remember the event when he talked to my past boyfriend, personally. he got his gun and knife out and placed it all in a table infront of them, while having the conversation. i know deep inside how my past boyfriend got scared. ='p my dad asked so many questions. he even got into the point of asking if he already had his savings account. (LOL!) its as if we'll gonna get married. my dad, in just one word.. "UNDERSTANDING!" because no matter how stubborn i became, and even my other siblings do, still he never dare to spank us, or even hurt us physically.. he will just let you sit down beside him and patiently talk to us and just helped us realize about the mistakes we've done. my dad, is a kind of father whom every one dreams to have. and even though we are facing tough challenges for every day, he never dares to leave us. he finds ways on supporting our needs and continues the bond of our family. you know what his pliant is?? ..my mother! because no matter how hard my mom nags at him, he will not dare to fight back. because he loves my mom so much and he can't dare to throw up words which would hurt her. my father deserves all the chastity in this world than other great heroes others can ever think of ..=')  i can do what i want to do..my actions and attitudes are authentically mine.. i can love myself while hating others..or love others and hate myself..in other way, i can love both or hate both.. =') i don't know myself perfectly, but i know myself more than others do.. judgment is all they can do, nothin' more.. nevertheless, i am the only one who can judge me.. i know what's wrong and right in my personality.. i don't have any plans for a change.. this is the real ME! that's the essence of my individuality..... why do i keep on wishing' on falling stars? why do i want to feel exhilaration of flying when I'm aware that every time i do, i fall? why do climbing the tallest tree and the highest mountain make me invincible? why do i dream of swimming the seven seas when everything that i am tells me that i will drown? why do i want to wrestle with a gorilla and emerge a victor? why do i want a genie for a friend and a mermaid for a sister when my mind tells me that i can't afford to live in fairyland? why do i always wish for things i am dead certain will not be granted? why do i keep on falling in love when i know there is nothing for me but pain? for the sheer pleasure of bein' alive, i dare... audeo (Latin for "i dare"..) Tuesday, August 28, 2007  28th day of the month. a special day for us. just like lovers do, celebrating their months. but i guess, ours is different from them. others do celebrate it- TOGETHER!! i have lots of emotions when this day of the month arrives. sadness. the thought of him being far from me makes me weak. where the only thing that can make me smile are those memories we once had. those times we held each other's hand. chatting. the times we spent chatting as if there will be no tomorrows. silly jokes we both throw. that even the most corny joke can still tickle us. those times we ate together. and those moments of our existence that we learned how to dream. and put it all to reality some day. it makes me sad. because i missed him terribly. but somehow, happiness within me is pouring down. its because i know he'll be coming back. i do trust him. and no one can ever understand why i love him like this. and no one can ever understand me why I've been acting like this. distance may separate us. communication might be impossible for now. but the love we have won't truly break us. with this affair, i start to believe with what the quote says, "distance makes the heart grows ponder." his absence for sometime makes me long for him even more. allows me to value him truly. and gives me strength to do the wait. I'll go for it. as long as he'll be in the end of that long wait. i.love.you. with all honesty. with all sincerity.. sooner. we'll be spending everyday of our lives.. together.. Monday, August 27, 2007 its a common thing that we human, put in mind that "money"can make us happy. well then, i somehow agree to that. money can make you happy. (oh really?!) with it, you can buy what you want. from expensive clothes. high-tech gadgets. to the raging places you dreamed of. jewelries and other fancy apparels. from the best foods up to the not-so-needed-stuffs on earth. (vain people!) yes, money has the power of giving you all of those. and sad to know that the saying "Money is the root of all evil" begins to become a fact. reality bites. i've been living in this world for about eighteen years. and within that span of time, still i enjoy the luxuries of life. without spending money. (oOoWws??!!) really.. =') i admit that our family do experience a tough financial crisis. but that reality doesn't put barriers at gaining the happiness i always want. i am thankful because eventhough im experiencing this status quo in our family, still i learn to value the bests in this world. without spending money. ='p that the highest bliss are those been experience by just laughing together with my family. seeing the sunrise which always reminds me of hopes for everyday's challenges. having been blessed with complete senses and normal mind. being able to answer my exams in school. meeting good friends along the way. given the chance to experience love. and given the chance to live in this world. =') isnt it nice to think and experience all of those?! for me, those are the bests. happiness which money can't trade of. if only people will come to realize that, "being in this piece of land doesn't requires much, much, much penny"- then all will be able to understand how i feel everytime i wake up everyday of my life.  "if the farthest star can still be seen twinkling in the night sky, then that would simply means, dreams can still come true no matter how far you are from it." that thought came into my mind one night when i went outside our house to get something. =') the splendored night sky which captured my eyes and even my thoughts for that moment put me into something that i've been longing to do. "to shift to my dream course and pursue my real dream. DREAMS in life! to put all my fantasies to reality." ='p it didn't sound that easy at first, but something within me is overpowering my desire. my friend once asked me : "what you picture-out of yourself in the future? just a simple picture of what you imagine about your carreer in the next years." then, i paused for a while and answered him. "A newscaster! ", "its been my dream since i was a kid." from that question, the journey in my life decides to change its route and from that answer i gave, a novice existed. with hopes that she will be able to fight for it till the end. none of the people in this world can fully, trully define how i feel everyday. my sufferings, pains, longingness, emptiness, sorrows, happiness, laughters and dreams. maybe some of them can define but that definition can only occupy 1/4 of my real definition. (who cares 'bout that silly definition) ='p i always look around, but haven't even thought that i was just glancing. i always listen to myself, but realized that i never dare to understand. i came to a journey, but so foolish not to notice i wasnt able to pack up my "needed" things. and that i was walking, walking with eyes shut off. i've been trudging anaive life at all before. i wasn not able to be so sure about everything before. but then, my failures thought me how to be brave to handle situations. possible deadly situations that might drag me down. i know, dealing with our life is not that easy. but when we learn to llok at the bright side of all things, we'll be able to reach to the point, where fantasies will lead its way to reality. i admit i'm not yet that strong. but the urge of fighting is within me. its only you that can decide on what to do with your life. and no one loses the battle when you always step forward and do what you ought to do rightly.. =') Saturday, August 18, 2007
one thing I've learned from him is " to be true to yourself". every time i decide to pretend, i would pause for a while and think that it would be better if I'll show my true being.its nver that easy nman kase of bein' true diba?!i was afraid before of showin up.im scared that people might dislike me after all. but definitely, its a wrong attitude! and i just came to the point of realizing that, the moment i met him . i was infected by him..
there's no such thing as PERFECT. IMPERFECTIONS will always be a part of life.stepping out of your shadow is like allowing yourself to love the world and meet the person who will mean to tell you, "i love you just the way you are".. =') Today is August 18, 2006, Saturday.. as the people of Davao are experiencing the excitement on malls, restaurants, and even on streets because its Kadayawan, here i am in an internet cafe and experiencing the other so-called "excitement" i have- the creation of my second blog. i'm so excited because i really love to write, whether i am not that grammatically correct in my sentences, still i urged myself to write .. even the most nonsense matters .. =') i'm into writing, because it helps me to expressed my deepest thoughts, my fondest dreams, my emotions, my loneliness, and the thought of loving and understanding my indifference. its only with a blog that i can be somehow happy because for me, publishing an entry,whether it is formal or informal, is an achievement for me. where only myself can understand how great it is to accomplished one entry. =') . my first blahblahblog..=') |
☺bLithe☺ "it's the good girls who keep diaries, the bad girls never have the time." the sites. facebook| friendster| imeem| yahoo| google| askjeeves| youtube| twitter| blogspot| photobucket| peoplestring| blogskins| limewire| mp3-codes| IMUXIC| peyups| multiply| wmnQtv| disney 8/1/07 - 9/1/07 9/1/07 - 10/1/07 11/1/07 - 12/1/07 4/1/08 - 5/1/08 11/1/08 - 12/1/08 1/1/09 - 2/1/09 3/1/09 - 4/1/09 6/1/09 - 7/1/09 7/1/09 - 8/1/09 8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 imeem . <1 song Playing ☺ crazy for this girl by EVAN AND JARON Designer : + Lotz + x o x o |
